Ever Feel Like Singing This Song?

I’ve got a long way to go...to be like the Lord.

I’ve got a long way to go...to be like Him.

I’ve got to be merciful, dutiful...faithful and true,

Kind and just...in all that I do.

I’ve got a long way to go...to be like the Lord.

Just Checking

From CNN Website:

"In parks and backyards, anywhere a group gathers, the prayers of the Haitians can be heard. Last week, the call-and-response chanting and clapping that accompany those prayers pierced the darkness of night and the pre-dawn hours - sometimes as early as 4 a.m. The singing and praying was particularly intense in Champs de Mars plaza, where hundreds of people have taken refuge. But the scene was repeated throughout the city, with preachers on megaphones exhorting the faithful, who responded with lyrics like 'O Lord, keep me close to you' and 'Forgive me, Jesus.'

Many preachers are telling followers not to lose faith, that God remains with them regardless of what's happened. Most Haitians don't feel abandoned.

'The people don't blame Jesus for all these things. They have faith. They believe that Jesus saved them and are thankful for that...' "

This event has truly affected me more than any other. For as one doctor put it, "The Haitian people are resilient. They continue to crawl out of Hell with a smile."

How would we in America handle such devastation? Would it be with a smile, believing in the mercies of Jesus Christ and trusting Him completely? Would we sing, praise and pray in the streets? Is our faith that strong? When stripped of everything, would we still serve Him - or would we question and complain? (I know that I'm doing some soul searching, checking the strength of my walk with the Lord. Is my walk just "lip service" or is my walk truly a "heart experience"?)

Layer by Layer

Found a writing of mine the other day. Truthfully it's not easy to share this but feel compelled to do so in the hopes that it will be a help and an understanding for someone. It transparently reflects a time in my life. If there is someone who needs these words, please know that my thoughts and prayers are truly with you. Don't give in and let grief destroy you. Here is my writing from 1998:

Affliction is a monster bigger than life itself. Its ugliness seethes at the soul, and has a distinct way of hammering at the physical being, making us weak, nauseated, dizzy . . . trying to destroy us. Every part that can be shaken, will be shaken. We question and blame ourselves and/or blame others. We'll withdraw from everything, wanting nothing or no one to enter our domain. We will close the door to reasoning . . . or on any given day, open it so wide that it will completely overwhelm us. We'll want to run as fast as we can and as far as we can hoping that in the journey we'll run past heartache and pain. We'll shut out people even friends and family. Sound awful? Subconsciously in not hearing or seeing, we can hide. At times, we don't think we can go on. The present seems hopeless, the past filled with suffering, and the future empty. These all are normal reactions, and will happen even when we have Jesus as our Savior. It is our human side . . . and the venting of a loss.

Grief's influences may vary, but the concept that they diminish is unfounded. Grief only covers itself in time by the mire of life, layer by layer. A reminder of our hurt comes when someone else is struck with grief, or in experiencing it once again ourselves . . . and it causes previous hurts to begin transition back to the surface. Time does change the forms of our sorrow. Many call this period a healing, but I've never been healed. I still hurt therefore I call it a regrouping. Regrouping is a gradual procession in the recesses of our mind, drilling its way into the heart. We learn to "cope" with what has been allotted in life; rearranging our thoughts, putting our loss in the back of our minds by placing other things at the front. In other words, we just sort our "laundry" differently. We throw out the normal process (logic), and start washing "whites with colors," thereby permitting command of our sanity.

I don't wish to intrude upon the private lives of others, and may I be forgiven for doing so; but we are blessed with wonderful family, friends, and a pastor who understood when we experienced the loss of our son. This is not told to recreate heartache, but to demonstrate grief's many faces. When our Mark was killed in a tragic accident, our pastor and wife were one of the first at the hospital. In helping our family, it brought to the surface their encounters with grief. Mark's funeral was held in the church they pastored; our pastor was one of those who officiated; and his wife wrote/sang a special song. The funeral was in the same building as their son's funeral and on the day that would have been their son's birthday. Mark was also laid to rest in the same cemetery. Did it uncover grief? Certainly. Was there hurt still there? Certainly.

God covers our hurts layer by layer with His love, and when it is to His glory He uncovers them as a solace for others. It allows us to personally feel others pain and to relate to their emotions. If we were completely healed from our griefs, God could never use us to help others.

When we lost our first grandchild Zoe, our pastor was one of the first at the hospital. Did it uncover grief again? Surely. Many times, he and his wife expressed words of encouragement, told stories of grace and mercy to uplift us above the hopelessness swirling in our hearts. I saw the hurt return to their eyes, saw the tears, and heard their broken voices. Layer by layer, grief again to uncover.

I too think of how in losing our granddaughter, layer by layer the hurt I had felt three years and 18 days earlier (losing our oldest son) was resurfacing. Words, sentiments, thoughts, pain all returned in my desire to comfort my children. I hurt for them, knew where they were, where they were going, and what life would offer. Then the torment in knowing how I would hurt again . . . and not wanting to hurt that way any more. Below is an expression I wrote:

Many pieces are missing from this heart of mine,
Ripped apart by the ravishment of time.
For just as life starts bringing back the joy of a smile,
Bitterness of heartache appears in another trial.

I inwardly suffering, encased in my personal grief,
While outwardly coping, praying for some type of relief.
Many ask how such a thing as this could happen,
I have not the answers to reveal life's devised fashion.

But there is One who has privilege to each missing piece,
Linking shattered hearts that are beyond human reach.
A puzzle created by pieces supremely selected,
Grouping life's mysteries to become divinely connected.

With the days, months and years, more and more of life covers my wounds. God continues to cast seeds of love to minister to me and mine. Today, the ground lies undisturbed, although fresh diggings of yesterday are evident. Without my wanting, my ground may be once again be tilled tomorrow, and if it be so, I must believe that God will help me to regroup . . . layer by layer.

Mercy & Hope Exists

May Grace help you find your way

to a place of Mercy and Hope

The Lighthouse

There's a lighthouse on the hillside that overlooks life's sea
When I'm tossed it sends out a light that I might see
And the light that shines in darkness now, will safely lead me home
If it wasn't for the lighthouse. . .my ship would sail no more.

Everyone that lives around us. . . says tear that old lighthouse down
The big ships don't sail this way anymore. . .ain't no use in it standing round
Then my mind goes back to that stormy night. . .when just in time I saw the light
Light from that old lighthouse that stands there on the hill.

And I thank God for the Lighthouse. . .I owe my life to Him
Jesus is the Lighthouse and from the rocks of sin
He has shown a light around me that I might clearly see
If it wasn't for the Lighthouse. . .where would this ship be?

Can you tell? My heart has been filled with song this week - and this 1971 song is just another testimony of the Lord's love, mercy and grace.

New Year Wishes to You

With 2007 's departure, comes the introduction of 2008. The changing of the guard always makes for a time of reflection.

One highlight in 2007 was getting acquainted with the amazing world of blogging. It is a world that allows me to capture and pen my views, thoughts and emotions (wonder if that’s good?? oh well, it’s fun). Thank you to all for so graciously accepting me into this place of expression and inspiration.

HAPPY NEW YEAR to all!

• May GOODNESS and MERCY be yours;
• May a hedge encircle you as a PROTECTION;
• May you find PEACE in life's storms;
• May you be anointed with perfect LOVE that only comes from above;
• May you have JOY unspeakable, and full of glory;
• May HAPPINESS and laughter fill your home and heart;
• May PROSPERITY be yours in the things that really matter; and
  
• May an abundance of untold BLESSINGS be yours.