Monday, December 17, 2012

Dog's Christmas Rules

1. Be especially patient with your humans at this time as they may appear to be more stressed-out than usual.
2. When they come home with large bags of things called gifts, do not assume all the gifts are for you.
3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you as they get pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.
4. They may bring a large tree home, set it up, and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as it may seem, it is an important human ritual, so you need to know: (a) don't go to bathroom on the tree, (b) don't drink water in the container holding the tree, (c) control your tail when near tree, (d) if there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or have your name on them, don't rip them open, and (e) don't chew on the cord running from the hole in the wall to the tree.
5. Your humans may occasionally invite strangers to come visit during this season. The parties can be fun, but call for some discretion by you: (a) not all strangers appreciate kisses, (b) don't eat off the buffet table, (c) beg subtly for goodies, (d) be pleasant, even when strangers sit on your sofa, and (e) don't drink out of glasses left sitting around.
6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important: (a) observe all the rules in #4 for trees, with #4a particularly important, (b) respect animals and their territory in the house you are visiting, (c) tolerate children, and (d) turn on your charm big time.
7. A chubby man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night, DON'T BITE HIM!!

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