I’m not sure why I am writing this post today but I feel that it is something I need to do. Pain and suffering comes to all - and when it does, we must guard our soul, not allowing ourselves to move away from our Hope and our Redeemer.
"I will say unto God my rock, why hast thou forgotten me? Why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy? As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, where is thy God?" Psa 42:9-10
When suffering, there are times when it is extremely difficult to go to church. You would think in a crisis that the church would be the first place you'd want to retreat. In some cases, Yes. In others, No – and it's not that we don't love God, or want to be a part of His Glory, it's because the services sometimes go in directions contrary to our feelings. The problem is, we have this preconception that we know exactly what we need and when. When hurting, we say, today I don't need to laugh; today, I think I should cry, or vice versa.
Sometimes, if we are in a service that doesn't go as we believe it should, frustration (and sometimes anger) surfaces, and we want to scream "STOP, can't you feel my heartache, my pain? Don't you care?" At this point that we must get a hold of the situation, perhaps by excusing ourselves and stepping into the church foyer, the prayer room, or the churchyard to regroup. Myself, I had to wrestle with the fact that life goes on whether I want it to or not. No, it is not wrong to experience hostilities for it only confirms that we're human. However, it is wrong when we hold onto them and pet them, telling ourselves that we are entitled to them.
We must be careful when pain (and hurt) fills our mortal house. It is then that we must overcome our own self. We need (at least try) to pray even though we don't feel like it. We need to sing although the words ring hollow. We need to smile even though our heart is breaking. We must try to care even though we could care less. Whatever it takes to get our mortal house in sync with His House, we must do. If it means a thorough house cleaning - dusting, sweeping and mopping until we rid ourselves of any pity or resentment (or God forbid, hatred). Please be thankful that God entrusted you with that loved one, possession, job, or leadership role for a season or more. Just having it/them for awhile is better than never having at all. And in so many circumstances, it isn't you or God that removes, it is life. Life has a way of twisting us, turning us, squishing us (you add the rest).
May I say that it would be easier in difficult times to fold up our spirit than go through the motions of praise and worship, of sharing and caring; however, if we will honor God, in His House, during our losses, they will become the most precious times we'll ever know for we are with Him and nothing can touch us. The rages of fear are calmed, rejection is lifted and every evil flees. Our minds will regain control and bring peace (and who cares if it only lasts the length of the service. At least for a small while, we find solace). Eventually, the hour will come when what we feel in service goes home with us for perhaps an hour or two, then a day, a week, a month, then longer. That is, if we let it!
"I will say unto God my rock, why hast thou forgotten me? Why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy? As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, where is thy God?" Psa 42:9-10
When suffering, there are times when it is extremely difficult to go to church. You would think in a crisis that the church would be the first place you'd want to retreat. In some cases, Yes. In others, No – and it's not that we don't love God, or want to be a part of His Glory, it's because the services sometimes go in directions contrary to our feelings. The problem is, we have this preconception that we know exactly what we need and when. When hurting, we say, today I don't need to laugh; today, I think I should cry, or vice versa.
Sometimes, if we are in a service that doesn't go as we believe it should, frustration (and sometimes anger) surfaces, and we want to scream "STOP, can't you feel my heartache, my pain? Don't you care?" At this point that we must get a hold of the situation, perhaps by excusing ourselves and stepping into the church foyer, the prayer room, or the churchyard to regroup. Myself, I had to wrestle with the fact that life goes on whether I want it to or not. No, it is not wrong to experience hostilities for it only confirms that we're human. However, it is wrong when we hold onto them and pet them, telling ourselves that we are entitled to them.
We must be careful when pain (and hurt) fills our mortal house. It is then that we must overcome our own self. We need (at least try) to pray even though we don't feel like it. We need to sing although the words ring hollow. We need to smile even though our heart is breaking. We must try to care even though we could care less. Whatever it takes to get our mortal house in sync with His House, we must do. If it means a thorough house cleaning - dusting, sweeping and mopping until we rid ourselves of any pity or resentment (or God forbid, hatred). Please be thankful that God entrusted you with that loved one, possession, job, or leadership role for a season or more. Just having it/them for awhile is better than never having at all. And in so many circumstances, it isn't you or God that removes, it is life. Life has a way of twisting us, turning us, squishing us (you add the rest).
May I say that it would be easier in difficult times to fold up our spirit than go through the motions of praise and worship, of sharing and caring; however, if we will honor God, in His House, during our losses, they will become the most precious times we'll ever know for we are with Him and nothing can touch us. The rages of fear are calmed, rejection is lifted and every evil flees. Our minds will regain control and bring peace (and who cares if it only lasts the length of the service. At least for a small while, we find solace). Eventually, the hour will come when what we feel in service goes home with us for perhaps an hour or two, then a day, a week, a month, then longer. That is, if we let it!
So today, why not allow your mortal house to begin its reunion with God's House. It starts just one praise, one prayer at a time.
10 comments:
This is beautiful! Thank you for speaking to my heart today.
Love you!
That was awesome. Thank you!
Thank you for that.
That was powerful....
Thank you....
Wonderful post, Karen. You are a wise lady. Although I don't really know you, I have a feeling that you have had to "live" what you wrote about here a time or two. Thanks for your sensitivity and what you shared here today.
Blessings,
Carol Connell
Loved reading your post as it ministered to me. Thank you for such a lovely reminder. :)
Deb Pryor
Ladies,
Thank you. It's hard sometimes to pour out your heart as you never know how it will be received.
Carol:
Yes, I did "live" it. The writing is 100% Karen Hopper's experience. Thank God I was able to keep my eyes on the Saviour and a picture bigger than myself.
A little late in reading your post, your comments are both deeply understood and grasp. I have sat in more than my share of Sunday Night services and wondered. “What am I doing here?” “What good is it for them or me that I am here?”
You shall be in our prayers;
Mervi
Mervi,
I am thankful that I am no longer feeling the words of my post. In fact, doubt I could have ever wrote it unless I was on the positive side. Just was feeling that I needed to speak to someone, somewhere about my experience. However, please pray for me as I can always use good prayer.
So glad you were there to be able to share it... Thank you for ministering to me... This too will pass... One praise, one prayer at a time.
Catherine Roseberry
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